Tuesday, October 21, 2008

other entities that need a bailout.

• the polar ice caps
• oliver stone
bill simmons
• the simpsons
• the knicks
• my cell phone
• my cuticles
• your mother
• the dallas cowboys
• the hair on brady's stomach
• print media
• scrabulous
• michigan football
• the american auto industry
• your relationship with god
• chinese food
bloomberg's dignity
• farmer in the deli
• brad pitt
• safari and internet explorer users
• pay toilets in nyc (that was for you, pops)
• nike sneakers meant for athletic use
• the pizza joint downstairs from me
• jack nicholson
• katie couric (the palin massacre notwithstanding)
• goatees
• the injured knees of mssrs. woods and brady
• the publisher that owes me payment for a piece i did in august
• the nhl
• in-flight movies
• your way of seeing things
• reality television
• u2
• best man speeches that arent delivered by me
• blt's
• tom wolfe
• my current lunch prospects
tenth street lounge (that would actually be a resurrection more than a bailout)
• the pitch n putt during the winter
• dane cook
• manhattan congestion
• my toilet paper dispenser
• paul mccartney
• super bowl commercials
• your wardrobe

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